What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful?
What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette went into a farm to steal chickens. The police were nearby and they heard them and came in. The girls quickly jumped into three potato sacks so they wouldn’t be seen.
One policeman kicked the sack with the redhead, and she said “meow” pretending to be a cat.
He kicked the second one with the brunette, and she said “ruff”, pretending to be a dog.
When he kicked the third sack with the blonde, she said “potatoes”.
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
How do you describe an angry potato?
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commontater.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.